Ever since I experienced my first real bout of pregnancy pain last weekend, I searched around blogs for pictures of belly sizes at specific weeks. I wanted to see how big I could be in the coming weeks.
What is interesting is that it seems most pregnant bloggers have been asked to show belly shots. Someone even posted a week by week photo gallery of her bump. Although I am thankful to these moms that I get to have a closer approximation of how I can look like four to five weeks from now, I have no plans to follow suit and document the expansion of my tummy.
Not that I don’t intend to have my picture ever taken while I am pregnant, I am all for that. Nor am I saying that I want to hide all evidences of my pregnancy because that is not it. I just don’t want to post pictures of my belly alone.
It makes me uncomfortable because it is like I am showing off a newly-surgically altered body part to friends. Like I just got a great boob job and I am showing off my boobs to advertise my surgeon’s exceptional skill.
The thought that people are just curious about a specific part of me makes me queasy. Like I am separated from my belly. I know there is a person growing inside it, she kicks often enough to make her presence felt. But I think until the time she comes out in her birthday suit, that is the only time I am prepared to acknowledge her as picture-worthy on her own. For now, we will be like the kangaroo stuffed toy – the kid is still a body part of the mom.
Almost 6 months. Most pictures taken of me during that time still doesn’t show that I am pregnant. Depending on what I wear, some people still don’t see it. The reasons why I want to keep it small (but of the right size) are purely financial ones. A normal delivery is cheaper. Gaining too much weight makes me susceptible to complications. I don’t have to spend too much money on clothes that I outgrow. I can move easier, hence continue working longer.
In sum, big bellies scare me. Belly shots make me uncomfortable. I wish I can maintain my weight and my belly size for the duration of my pregnancy.
