Uhm.. Hi… I am Antithetical Mom. I used to be a shopaholic.
Rest of the Group: Hi Antithetical Mom.
It has been a year since I last pulled out my credit card to swipe away my depression and to buy myself some happiness. I dropped my addiction cold turkey. I am happy to say that I am rid of the habit.
Not that I have not made any clothing or shoe purchases over the past year. I have. I just stopped buying them for any other reason than because I need them.
Rest of the group: Good work, Antithetical Mom.
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Getting rid of my shopping fixation does create some challenges. I am now in my third trimester and I still have nothing, zero, zilch, nada prepared and stocked for my baby. Twelve weeks to go and I still cannot muster the frenzy and energy I used to have in excess to start buying stuff.
We will go around the mall and look at the cute baby stuff and I feel nothing. I am curious and I take note of the prices and the brands. I remember the stuff that seem useful. But I still don’t have the urge to buy.
I am sure I am a disappointment to my previous self. I cannot even finish working on my Baby Checklist page. My life, my money, my daily existence used to revolve around my shopping list. Now, I can’t finish one for the baby.
I always start with doing a thorough inventory. I used to love spending my nights poring over magazines, looking at my closet, making lists.
I do not seem to have the energy to undergo the process for now. Sigh.
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There are some things I am sure I will buy (Although I do not know when). So far, the following are ‘tattoed on my mind’:
- A breast pump, still deciding on the brand
- A nursing pillow
- Tushy wushies
- Nursing bras
Things I want to make or wish someone will make it for me:
- Swaddling blankets
- Terry cloth towels and towellettes
- Bibs
- Diaper bag
I really like the thought of sewing these stuff myself. I see myself buying colorful swatches of cloth. Simple patterns and sewing them together. And our shack and our baby will be surrounded by happy colors.
At my rate though, such happy thoughts are almost like delusions.
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Going around the baby section in malls do not bring a rush. I guess it is because I still do not know what my baby will really need that is why the stuff still doesn’t mean much to me.
I see a one year old in our neighborhood who constantly runs and plays around naked all the time. The dude seems happy and healthy albeit dirty. Makes me wonder about the value added from buying cutesy baby clothes.
