I don’t like doctors. After the way my thyroid condition has been treated by several doctors, I have formed a marked distaste and distrust for their kind.
So while it is advised to go to prenatal check-ups once a month, I have only so far gone once every trimester. I looked it up, the Department of Health only prescribes a minimum of four prenatal check-ups for every pregnant woman. I know, I should not trust government data either. Here is a fact I do believe. That our population increase is mostly propelled by unplanned pregnancies from poor families. Families that cannot afford doctors nor vitamins nor blood screenings. Despite all that supposed ‘boo-boos’, our population does not stop from increasing. Maternal mortality and morbidity even in far-flung areas are at 2% (FYI: Milenium development goal is 0).
Given those facts, I wonder, are they really necessary? Or at the very least, are they as necessary as they claim to be?
We went to the OB yesterday. It was distressing for me. I was told that my heartrate is too fast and it affects the baby. I should consult with my endocrinologist so that my thyroid medication dosage will be increased. I have read up extensively on the consequences of a mother with hyperthyroidism with her baby. Aside from passing it on to the baby, which I am certain I will since my baby is a girl, on severe circumstances I can undergo pre-term labor or have a small baby.
Those consequences are not so bad. I know that my thyroid is not severely acting up. I would know since I have experienced it at its worst 4 years ago. What stressed me out was my OB telling me that I better control my thyroid or I face heart failure during delivery.
I know that possibility already. What I did not like was the insensitivity to how it was delivered to me. I am 7 months pregnant and I have a hyperactive thyroid. A doctor should know better than to further upset the mother by threatening her with death.
Worse, they threaten mothers with possibility of death, but they do not have it in them to clearly articulate the reasons and the causalities they use in arriving at such a conclusion.
I do not know if some of the mothers are luckier than I am. But I have been to my OB twice. Both times she did her measurements on my vital signs without explaining why. There are acronyms written on my ‘pregnancy book’ that she did not even bother to explain. I know I should have asked but I went there yesterday to ask two things actually: what are the things I should expect for the next three months and what are the classes or any steps I can or should take to prepare for them?
Both questions were not answered adequately. I made up my mind to look for another OB next week.
I wish doctors can be more transparent
Make a list of all the things that I should be monitoring on a regular basis – my heartrate, my BP, my blood count, the composites found in my urine, etc. Then indicate what kind of results are alarming and when it is imperative I should go to them. I personally never liked going to the doctor just to be told that I am okay since I can read the results myself and I already know that I was okay. And since all they do is look at the result then tell me I am okay, why do I have to pay full consultation fee each time I visit?
Sigh, my arguments against doctors are valid. I am sure that they equally valid counterarguments. But it does reek of exploitation when they scare people into doing something just because they are the only ones with the technical expertise. They keep on insisting on medication and higher dosages. But none of them will take accountability for the fact that the medication I am taking now is actually bad for my liver. The thyroid medication I have been taking for years now causes liver damage. The damage is supposed to heal as soon as I stop taking my medication, but I have not been able to. It looks like it will be my maintenance medication.
What I know is, only keeping myself happy is the surest and SAFEST way to calm down my hyperactive thyroid. Why don’t they talk about that instead?
I am pushing myself at work. No question about it. I am sure I am also partly to blame for my fast heartbeat. I took on two other jobs for the month. I am managing two major projects in my current work, both of which I believe in enough to continuously subject my body and my baby to this much pressure.
Finances play a role, but truth is we have fixed our finances with regard our baby. Everything is in line that we can afford the costs and the stuff we needed for the baby. I can quit after this month and not have to worry that we will not afford it. So something else is making me continue working.
I wanted this project since last year. I know the topic better than anyone in the office. The possibility of making change happen that will improve the way government goes about delivering service to their constituents, that is the real purpose of work for me.
I admit this in my blog because I wonder if I should feel guilty for continuing to go after what I want while my body and my daughter are still in danger.
