It must be the panic or mild stress of people around me who expect me to shout any second and ask them to bring me to the hospital. I find myself rushing my baby to come out. In a way, the pain of delivery scares me, a part of me wants it over with.
Anyway, she is still a few days early.
There are things relevant to my career, our finances, and our future that are pending for the next two weeks as well. Those things while important and crucial on their own are finally taking a back seat to my juggling act. For the past 8 months, I have negotiated with the baby to stay still, to be healthy, to cooperate and not to come out early for vaeious reasons – we still have to save up enough money, we still have to transfer to another place, we still have to look for a yaya, etc.
I feel a bit guilty knowing that in a way I asked her to grow according to my pace, albeit those were definitely necessities. Right now, those things can wait. They may be important, but they will have to adjust to the baby’s pace.
